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Last update: October 5, 2009
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Welcome my deeerest
friends,
Thank you for your visit to my dying business
establishment. I am pleeased to announce that
our business is 'looking up', although we never
expect to get out of the hole. We have been
patiently awaiting your early arrival and
hopefully, together, we can work out any grave
issues you may have. Look around, take your
time--we are in no hurry to bury our
relationship.
At my Death Emporium, you can explore the
unspeakable taboos
of life and death. Here you will find links to some of my
favorite places and a few of my not so favorite
ones. As you explore, I have two suggestions for
you: Stay out of the shadows; after years of
death and dying, there is no telling what may be
lurking in the dark. Also, please do not sleep
on the embalming gurneys; my eyes are not as
good as they once were and I would hate for you
to wake from your nap stiffer than you can
imagine.
Sally and I are always available to help you with all of your
final needs and are working hard on a Discount
Funeral pre-Planning manual you can use for
yourself. While you may not be able to cheat
death, we will show you many ways to cheat the
mortician.
Come try on clothing from our funeral closet,
lay in our coffins (Nobody should buy clothes
they wouldn't be caught dead in), and take
advantages of our discount funeral planning. We
commemorate all preplanning visits with a 3X5
signed picture of our Mayor, Mr. Richard
Grayson.
Your friend until death us do part,
Weepin' Willie
Death Consultant and Escort to the Afterlife
P.S. E-mail me and let me know what you think.
weepinwillie@hayville.com
P.S.S. Ask about our "Bring 'em back alive"
policy.
P.S.S.S. Drive carefully, we will patiently wait
for you!
 1938
Modified Cadillac LaSalle
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The
sun is always
