 |
The Hayville Recorder |
|||
| Photo Album | Message Board | History | More... | |
|
|
The Hayville Recorder |
|||
| Photo Album | Message Board | History | More... | |
|
Home
Hayville Square Mall Willie's Death Emporium Louise's House of Fate Joe's Pork Palace Homer's Book Store Ned's Magic Shop Sally & Marsha's 5&10 Dead End Real Estate Heyville Cemetery Newspaper Office Gameroom & Arcade Theater Church Birthing Center Hayville Telecom Dead Letter Office Hayville Local Weather Report The sun is always shining except when it's cloudy or night-time.
|
Last update: December 20, 2009
Local News:
New 2010 Calendar due to post soon. Weepin' Willie and the residents of Hayville wish you a Merry Christmas! Be sure to view our Christmas Card. One Way to save the earth: With all the snow and rain being produced by Global Warming, the Mayor has proposed that All Residents comply with the new Christmas Ordinance. As discussed last year many of you took your live Christmas Tree, planted it in the yard and painted it green. For the most part everyone did a good job and now is phase 2. Dig up the tree this year and use it, instead of buying that new one. As a Thank You for those who comply, and as a Christmas Gift from your local government, you will receive a 1% rate decrease in your garbage pick up. (Note: The last time we did this some of you complained because it didn't include dead bodies. Please!!!! No more dead bodies in the landfill.) Disclaimer: Be sure to read the Dead Tree Disclaimer listed below. So Merry Christmas and if you don't make it we'll see you on the other side, unless we can figure out a way to avoid it. It's bad enough putting up with some people for a few years but a horror to think of spending eternity with their sorry butts! Scam Alert!!!!! Please click here to read about the new scam. After Thanksgiving Sale: While many stores are offering Black Friday sales, Hayville has no shopping stores so Joe's Pork Palace, in cooperation with the Hayville Crematorium, is offering an after Thanksgiving Turkey Remains Disposal Program. Just bring your turkey remains to the Pork Palace and what isn't salvageable for the Before Christmas Dinner will be disposed of for $2 per pound. Click here for Joe's Special Holiday recipe Dead Christmas Tree Article: Dead Tree Request and Warning H1N1 Update for Hayville residents: Please read immediately! H1N1 Update New Telephone Service: Hayville Podunk Obsolete Telecom Service is in operation. give it a try, today! Nightmare Factory Book Signing: The Nightmare Factory Book Signing was great fun.... here is a picture of Shashabar the Magician, who performed at the Halloween Fest on the 30th and 31st. He'd just finished his "pull the coin out of the dead mans ear" trick which was great, but not as funny as the "R" rated version after 8, which was "pull a coin out of a dead mans butt" trick.  Dreams do come true..... "I have always wanted to cover my clients from the cradle to the grave and now we actually can," Said Weepin' Willie, as he carefully wiped a tear from his cheek. (I wasn't sure if he was crying or the eye was just weeping but it was emotional.) "I am so glad Myron came to our Annual Death Festival to display his Circumcision Ring Collection, " Willie continued, "It was a miraculous destiny." Myron's Circumcision Parlor, a part of the Birthing Center opportunities, will be open every eighth day after a birth of a male and by appointment only for adult males and females, who seek a cut above any other establishment. Price rollback to last year on softcover price! "Weepin' Willie is a must read for everyone so we took drastic measures to make it available," said Mayor Richard Grayson when interviewed about the recent price change of his book. "We contacted the publisher and explained how important this book was, and the stories that must be told, and requested them to reduce the price of the softcover to last years $19.95 to make it more affordable, and they agreed." We verified the price with Publish America and the softcover book price has been changed from $24.95 to last years price of $19.95 and should be on the book sellers list as such shortly. The hardcover is still $29.95 and we asked Mr. Grayson if he thought that price would come down. "No, the hardcover is just a luxury that doesn't affect the reading of the stories, so we just wanted to make sure everyone could afford a copy of the book to read." The city council of Hayville was so thrilled with Mr. Grayson's unselfish act of charity that they are meeting next month to consider nominating him for the Noble Peace Prize. 2010 Calendar permission given!  "Mr. Maurizio Matteucci. of CofaniFunebri.com has again given us permission to use his Sexy Coffin Calendar for our website in 2010," Mr. Willie Bonnor, proprietor of Weepin' Willie's House of Discount Funerals, announced at a luncheon meeting of funeral directors, embalmers, and restaurant chefs this week. "I think it's the best calendar yet and is definitely one to die for." (If anyone knows what's worth dying for it is definitely Weepin' Willie.) "Everyone needs to check out Mr. Maurizio's website and purchase their calendar before they sell out," Willie continued. CofaniFunebri.com also lists many other unusual and hard to find items, check them out. Classified Ad's: For sale or lease: Wanted: |
Sexy Coffin Calendar Interactive E-bookE-mail Us |