Because Weepin Willie wants to service the mortal sufferer and passions from cradle to grave, he has allowed me to provide these short-cut services. Because of my varied background, former mohel and current Messianic Jew and, given my extensive studies, I have become eminently qualified to both found and operate the Hayville School of Ritual Studies and circumcision.

The rituals include any and all initiation uses of circumcision as well as its benefits as a cleanliness tool (all puns intended). We also provide study, research and study in genetic research and any and all preputial specimines obtained will go to that purpose.

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Frankenstein ain't got nuttin on us folk here in good ole Hayville. Visit back often to enter our facility and learn what we do and how we do it. One word of monition, we set you down in the recliner, choose the appropriate instruments and get 'er dun in less than 12 seconds. We don't use no anesthetics. We do practice antiseptic standards necessary to obtain minimum mortuary and morbidity standards.