H1N1 Update

It is most important that you read this emergency Update!!!!

“Do not take H1N1 Flu Shot

Hayville: The Swine Flu, or currently named H1N1, is not a new virus. Several years ago, there was a supposed Swine Flu epidemic that never materialized and followed the promise of the HIV epidemic scare of the 1960's. It was the belief of the late (dead) Doctor Stubs that these periodic threats are all a sham of the American Medical Association in league with Pharmaceutical Companies to increase their stock profits. Seems likely this is likely since some vaccines turned out to be water, there isn't enough to go around, and we are not told how many who took the vaccine still died from the flu. Therefore, we choose to reprint the late (dead) Doctor Stubs warning and changed the HIV to H1N1.

"Hayville Residents ought not get the H1N1 flu shots, when and if they become available. They have researched the matter at the Hayville School of Embalming, Cremation and Culinary Science on the matter and the professors and scholars at the research laboratorium have stated that residents would be better served by viewing the H1N1 virus as an opportunity to flee from the travails of this earthly existence and replace it with the joys of the next."

When asked if that would not be a form of suicide, to ignore the warning, one of the top research professors responded, "No more than smoking, of course, they both are a form of suicide; one is slow and painfully expensive and the other rapid and cheap."

So, light up them cigarettes and skip the flu shot.... you owe it to the economy!

We will try to keep you updated in our next Edition….